Postcard from Armenia

The main reason why I want to speak Armenian is to be able to talk with my grandparents. The first thing I wrote in this language was a letter to my grandpa, using the Armenian alphabet. He called me when he received it to say that he was proud and so happy. He started speaking to me in Armenian so fast that I had to calm him down, explaining to him that I was still studying and not able to have a such conversation. He was so excited to say that, now, he knows that this discussion is going to take place soon.

Realization

Belonging to a community and a culture is not only about the country and the traditions but also about the language. I am half Armenian, and I did not speak this language except for elementary words: “kezi gy sirem” (I love you), “anush kun pari yeraz” (good night and have sweet dreams), “banir gouzem” (I want cheese), “tecal” (spoon), counting until 3 and the colors of the flag. I have always wished to speak this language. For a long time, I put this wish away because in my teenage years, speaking Armenian was the last of my concerns. But lately, it has become more and more present in my head.

Unfortunately, I have to say that this wish came back in force with the 2020 war. I realized that this country could disappear, and the fact that the Armenian identity could disappear too struck me. To speak your origin’s language is not only important but also political. Those events happened at the same time of my real questioning about my identity. Finding your place in this society and knowing who you are not easy things to do for anyone. Being half Armenian and half French pushes me to question myself about who I am. I always feel that I am not enough of both sides. How could I be enough French if I also must be enough Armenian? I still don’t have the right answer to this question, but I am just sure that I want to embrace both cultures.

How to learn a new language when you are in the rush of your adult life?

Taking time to learn a language when you’re an adult is difficult. When you have a job and work every day, taking time to go to class instead of meeting your friends is not something you want to do. I tried to take online classes, but I only did it for a few days and then I forgot about it. I had something else to do and I gave up. Birthright allows you to fully immerse yourself in the culture and the language. I came with little knowledge of how to speak the Armenian language, and this was fine. I started with an intensive week of Armenian language class and then I have class twice a week.

I was used to not understanding anything of what was happening around me when people spoke Armenian. I was surprised, after a month, to finally understand interactions around me, to be able to interact with people in the street, in the shop, in the bus, in my host family, and with my relatives. At first, I thought that I would misunderstand when one would speak Armenian to me because I was so used to hearing Armenian but not understanding it. When I realize that I can understand people and they can understand me, it makes me very proud. Of course, I am not going to lie, it is not easy, and I still cannot say that I speak Armenian. Even when you finally think in your head that you can have a conversation when you need to talk it is different. You must study, go back to school, and spend time repeating and reviewing. It takes time, it is difficult, but it is more than worth it.

You will be afraid to fail because you are not supposed to fail in learning how to speak your origin’s language, but you would not. This should not be the reason why you don’t speak this language. Your wishes must be turned into actions. I used to blame my family for me not speaking Armenian but unfortunately, after a certain age, the fault also falls onto you. Not speaking Armenian now does not mean you will never speak Armenian. If you are waiting for a sign or something to start learning Armenian, this is the one. It will never be easier than to do it in Armenia and even more with the Birthright’s team by your side.